A moment in Toys R Us

 

 

 

 

 

It's funny how you can have a "moment" at the weirdest place. I took the girls to TRU today (after the rush) because I wanted to see what the Littles were interested in for Christmas. Scarlett took the pilgrimage there a couple of weeks ago for her birthday, but Finn had never been there. And as they went up and down the aisles, playing with toys and oohing and aahing over every little thing, I had that overwhelming urge to buy them everything!
I wanted to buy them everything that they had missed in the past, everything that my Bigs take for granted. I wanted to make it all better, erase all the hunger and loneliness and pretend that they have always been mine.
And then I remembered that I could never do that. That "pain" will always be there, no matter how many toys or snuggles or kisses. It will remain. Because it's a part of who they are, where they came from. And I just ask God that it makes them stronger and that they accept my love as it is. Unconditional.

Scarlett said she loved me again today. It wasn't when we were in TRU or after because she isn't like that. Scarlett only says what she means. It was when we were having a "moment". And it was an amazing moment.